Painless Parker: The Crazy True Story Of The Weirdest Dentist In History

Painless Parker: The Crazy True Story Of The Weirdest Dentist In History

Painless Parker traveled across the country in a parade with actors, singers, contortionists, dancers, performers of all kinds, and even a marching band. He wore a top hat and tailcoat, and rode in a carriage which, according to the Dollop, resembled a tooth. He threw coins into the waiting crowd. The performers would put on a massive show, and finally, Parker would give his sermon about dental care. Parker is quoted as saying, "My friends! I want to tell you that God hates a man who neglects his teeth!"

Like Barnum, Parker would pull off a hoax. According to the BBC, Parker had someone planted in the audience who would pretend to have a tooth painlessly pulled. Parker would then show the crowd a tooth that he had already pulled, as proof that he had extracted it successfully. When the real patients started coming up onstage, he would give them his "hydrococaine" to prevent them from feeling pain, but he had another strategy to fall back on if that didn't work. He worked out a system where he would tap his foot to signal that he was about to pull a tooth and the band would begin playing at full volume. Then, if the patient screamed the sound would be covered up by the band, and not ruin his "Painless" reputation. 

At a county fair in Poughkeepsie, New York, Painless Parker pulled 357 teeth. He strung all of them onto a necklace, which he wore whenever he performed.