It’s the Fourth of July weekend, so it seems like a perfect time to celebrate one of the great American traditions of all, one that has lain dormant and been on some lean times recently but has a genuinely glorious past.
Beer jingles.
Maybe it’s just for folks of a certain age, but there was a time when catchy beer jingles were as much a part of the sporting experience as the games themselves. Something changed along the way. For one, most offbeat commercials prefer memorable dialogue to music now. Also, even if there was a good throwback jingle, we are no longer forced to sit through commercials as we were in a TV world limited (in New York anyway) to channels 2, 4, 5, 7, 9 and 11.
All I know is, as I thought up the idea for this, I was initially grateful for Google, so I could properly recreate the lyrics of these ridiculously catchy tunes … until I realized that still, all these years later, I remember every word. For you young-uns, I suggest taking a quick stop at YouTube and firing these all up. I am quite sure you will understand after just one listen. Maybe two. But probably only one.
So here we go: the top five beer jingles of all time.
1. Schaefer Beer
Television production of a Schaefer Beer commercial on WCBS-TV in 1949. CBS via Getty ImagesSchaefer, is the, one beer to have
When you’re having more than one.
Schaefer pleasure doesn’t fade
Even when your thirst is done.
The most rewarding flavor
In this man’s world
For people who are having fun!
Schaefer, is the, one beer to have
When you’re having more … than … one!
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The GOAT. One reason is it’s perfectly time-stamped: You could never, in any way, get away with the underlying theme anymore, based on market research that 80 percent of beer is drunk by 20 percent of drinkers: If you don’t care about taste, but just want to get good and blotto … we’re your suds!
But the song, the lyrics … it’s a masterpiece. The brainchild of the advertising firm Batten, Barton, Durstine & Osborn, in the campaign’s first 10 years it spent $70 million in advertising to appear in 87 TV commercials, 200 radio spots and 35 full-page magazine ads.
2. Miller High Life
Miller High LifeGetty ImagesIf you’ve got the time
We’ve got the beer (Miller Beer)
Miller tastes too good to hurry through
But when it’s time to relax
One beer stands clear (beer after beer)
If you’ve got the time …
We’ve got the beer!
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If you’re detecting a theme (“beer after beer”) … that’s probably not a coincidence. Everyone had access to the market research.
3. Lowenbrau
Here’s to good friends
Tonight is kinda special
The beer you’ll pour
Must say something more somehow …
So tonight … let it be Lowenbrau
An outlier, proof that even a great jingle can’t overcome a mediocre beer. When’s the last time you — or anyone you know — cracked open an ice-cold Lowenbrau?
4. Budweiser
BudweiserSOPA Images/LightRocket via GettHere comes the king, here comes the Big No. 1
Budweiser beer the king is second-to-none.
The king is coming, let’s hear the call.
When you say Bud, you’ve said it all!
(When you say Bud, you’ve said it all …)
Sure, the more famous Bud jingle is the one we hear ad nauseum whenever a Clydesdale goes for a walk, but this song is 100 percent catchier. And it says something about Bud’s kingship that it could have two memorable jingles.
5. Rheingold
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My beer is Rheingold the dry beer
Think of Rheingold whenever you buy beer
It’s refreshing, not sweet
It’s the extra-dry treat
Won’t you try extra-dry Rheingold beer?
Admittedly this may have some personal bias attached to it since Grandpa McMahon worked for years in the Rheingold brewery. Still … just try to get it out of your head now.
Vac’s Whacks
Let’s put it this way: After dropping seven grand on a surf-and-turf dinner, plus AirPods for everyone in the room, Max Scherzer has officially put Jacob deGrom on notice, should his rehab put him in a Binghamton Rumble Ponies jersey. Chick-fil-A ain’t gonna get it done.
Max Scherzer pitches during a rehab start with the Binghamton Rumble Ponies.Gordon DonovanKudos to Jeff Teat of the New York Riptide — now the primary tenant of Nassau Coliseum — who was named the National Lacrosse League’s Rookie of the Year on Thursday. Teat, out of Cornell, set rookie records for assists (71) and points (108) and added 37 goals in 16 games.
I’m not sure even David Ortiz quite got Yankees fans’ goat the way that Jose Altuve has.
Funny how winning can scour the stains of history. Kevin Durant’s various power plays resulted in one playoff win in two years, and he departs town labeled a loser. But in 1993, Mark Messier led a player insurrection that wound up ousting Roger Neilson, and that doesn’t exactly play a prominent part in the Messier legacy, given what happened 18 months later.
Whack Back at Vac
Dave Ornauer: Where are Billy Paultz, Walt Simon, Les Hunter and other people who gave it their all, no questions, no demands, when you need them? I have no use for players who suit up only when it suits them. Looking at you, Kyrie.
Vac: I think we need to hear from more legit 50-year Nets fans like Dave, especially this week. I know you’re out there. You used to make the Coliseum rock back in the day …
Robert Lewis: The Yanks might have the best record in baseball but they are the second-best team in the American league right now.
Vac: The Astros sure did give everyone a little something to think about these past couple weeks.
@j_nucero: As a Knicks fan, I can’t kill the Nets. We would have done the same thing, hold your nose for Kyrie Irving to get Kevin Durant. It was always going to be boom or bust.
@MikeVacc: In their heart of hearts, all Knicks fans know this to be true.
Dennis Daly: So now the original Pac-8 will now be the Six-Pac.
Vac: At first blush USC and UCLA bailing on the Pac-12 for the Big Ten makes about as much sense as the Mets and Yankees joining the NFL.
