Had to replay it twice to believe I heard it. How could someone — anywhere in public, let alone on national TV — say such a thing?
Monday, during Seattle-Washington, WFT running back Antonio Gibson collided with Seattle defensive back D.J. Reed. They collided at full speed, helmet-to-helmet, producing an audible and familiar smacking sound, often preface to brain trauma including the lasting kind football produces, perhaps even for both men.
The frightful sounding hit occurred along the sideline near Seattle’s collapsible concussion protocol tent.
Still, ESPN’s Brian Griese, a former QB, said what he perhaps thought what a a hip and desensitized audience wanted to hear:
“God, I love that sound. Ooo, do I love that sound!”
Griese couldn’t believe what he just said, could he? He loves the sound of heads colliding at top speed?
Do TV’s sports executives ever consider how detached their productions have become from sensible viewers? How the insufferable are shoved down our better senses?
Saturday’s Ohio State-Michigan needed no pregame hype from any “special” Fox guest star this side of Woody Hayes. Its traditional appeal this year was padded by teams in 8-1 ascendance.
Yet, what would Ohio State-Michigan be without the appearance of Alex Rodriguez?
Rodriguez starred in a lengthy, forced-laughs standup with the legion of studio show analysts Fox mindlessly dispatched to appear on site as a ridiculous sales additive.
Alex Rodriguez, Brian GrieseShutterstock, ESPNFox and ESPN operate under the firm conviction that all of America’s sports fans love Rodriguez, when I’d submit that most can’t stand him.
Most see and hear him as a transparent, first-class phony, a glad-handing, back-slapping, double-talking creep who twice cheated and lied his way to drug-enabled fame and fortune then was quickly engaged by the unscrupulous folks who think they know what viewers most enjoy.
Or are we to think that upon Rodriguez’s appearance Saturday, shouts were issued throughout the country: “Hey, Junior! Come a-runnin’! Fox has A-Rod on its football pregame show!”
I’d instead guess that most looked on with disgust, that Fox, like ESPN, was again trying to sell us Rodriguez as must-see/hear superstar when he’s widely regarded as a dishonest, disreputable athlete and a cad.
The game was a good one, in spite of Fox’s usual annoying excesses.
Analyst Joel Klatt again noted that the key to teams’ offense was “to move the chains,” while defenses plotted “to get off the field.”
And as the Michigan home crowd erupted in delight, Gus Johnson, another Fox believes we all love, repeatedly tried to scream over it to tell us how deliriously happy they were — as if we needed the explanations.
The on-site halftime show this time included no fewer than six panelists, all with nothing worth hearing when they could be heard.
The third quarter began with sideline reporter Jenny Taft rehashing what “I asked” and what both coaches “said to me,” as if she’d landed exclusive interviews with both in the middle of such a game. We know by now that such access is bought and paid for.
And, as always, TV rewarded the wrong people for the wrong reason.
With 8:30 left in the game, Michigan up, 35-20, OSU wide receiver Chris Olave made a catch then rose, and despite the score and circumstances, made a self-smitten “No. 1!” gesture with an index finger.
Chris Olave celebrates his first down catch against Michigan.Getty ImagesNaturally, such an indiscriminate all-about-me display quickly became a slo-mo replay — again, as if America watches football primarily to enjoy selfish, post-play acts.
On ESPN, the laughable: three seconds were left in North Carolina at NC State. Down four, UNC had the ball deep in State territory, one play left to score a TD.
Yet, ESPN chose to maintain its thick, distracting, colorized, computerized field-goal estimate line atop live play, as if UNC would attempt to lose by only one!
Also on ESPN, the “big rivalry game” between Florida State and Florida, schools for decades infamous for recruiting and producing semi-literate criminals as “student-athletes.”
Predictably, lots of fights, flags, sideline hassles, ugly group scenes ensued. Offsetting penalties for unsportsmanlike conduct ruled the lawlessness.
But on ESPN, clueless Mark Jones and new analyst Robert Griffin III knew who was at fault: the officials!
Come on, it’s a rivalry game, they rationalized; let ‘em enjoy it, they’re just expressing “their passion and emotion.” So suspend the rules! Turn very bad scenes into much worse!
Florida-Floria State expectedly included lots of penalties.Getty ImagesSunday, Fox again stuck New York with ex-ESPN yak box Mark Schlereth, who called Eagles-Giants by delivering whistle-to-snap speeches after every play, eventually and again sounding like a leaf blower. But Fox thinks we love such analysts.
Schlereth opened with a self-indictment: The Giants must give Saquan Barkley “20 total touches.” Not 18, not, 17, but 20. As if the game is played in a vacuum, just get it to Barkley 20 times — even on fourth-and-punt, whatever it takes.
He was right! On 17 “touches,” Barkley didn’t do much. He needed three more touches!
This Sunday on Fox for Giants-Dolphins, New York is stuck with Daryl “Moose” Johnston, now in his 20th year of destroying NFL telecasts with untreated filibusters. But Fox execs know best. From Alex Rodriguez to Moose Johnston, they know who and what we love!
No pressure Auburn, just a late lead to protect
Surprised CBS’ Gary Danielson, among the more observant football analysts, didn’t make an issue of it, but Auburn, a huge underdog to Alabama on Saturday, lost because it chose to protect a fourth-quarter, 10-0 lead with a looser defense, so often the preface to preventing victory.
’Bama QB Bryce Young, who previously had no time to throw, suddenly had all the time in the world. ’Bama had been stuck in clueless until Auburn solved the mystery by allowing the favorites 20-25-yard catches against a suddenly minimal pass rush, abandoning a defense that had rendered ’Bama static.
Such unlearned lessons had been seen dozens of times before. They’re the equivalent of MLB mangers removing effective pitchers until they find the one to blow the game.
‘Targets’ protect all players
CBS’ ex-NFL ref Gene Steratore is always worthy of our attention. Last weekend he noted that “targeting” rules are as much to protect the defender from neurological impairment as they are for the fellow who was targeted. It’s not to just punish, but to protect and reduce.
Tom Cosentino, a St. John’s man who blended a warm, understated disposition with better-idea public relations acumen in service to the many sports he repped — and, by extension, readers of all local newspapers — died Tuesday of heart disease. He was just 59. “T.C.” was special.
True or false: After just four years as Florida’s football coach, the school fired Dan Mullen, buying him out for a fat $8 million? False. The buyout was $12 million. World gone nuts? True.
After Pitt scored a TD on a broken-play pass from QB Kenny Pickett, ESPN analyst and ex-NFL linebacker Kirk Morrison had the perfect description: “Good parking lot football.” While no one asked me, Pickett, a 6-foot-3 Jersey kid, is the best pocket passer I’ve seen this season.
Kenny Pickett throws a pass against Syracuse.APMLB lockout? Same past rooting interests for fans apply of any sports’ labor issues: Fans should have no rooting interest in either party. Again, there’s nothing in either side’s position that would benefit the lifeblood of all sports, their fans.
Finally, as a columnist, I need your help: Why does “columnist” include an “n”?
