These “demon dolls” washing up on Texas beaches are giving John Oliver the creeps.
In an online exclusive of his HBO show “Last Week Tonight,” the 45-year-old British American came in on his week off to discuss disturbing baby dolls randomly found along a 40-mile stretch in southern Texas.
He played a video from a local news station that said 30 dolls have been found on the shore.
“Watch where you step because something might be already watching you,” a local news reporter said in the clip.
“Burn them — burn them now,” Oliver begged. “I hate those dolls. I hate them so much.”
He went on to show close-ups of several of the dolls, many of which had their eyes seemingly gouged out or otherwise missing, only to be replaced with rocks, barnacles and other debris.
“Look at this one,” Oliver said about a doll covered in green “war” paint. “Look at these blank eyes. Look at the skull and crossbones drawn on its chest. What does it want? What does it know?” the highly agitated host asked.
John Oliver deemed this one a sex doll. Mission-Aransas Reserve
Many of the 30 reported doll heads have been roughed up. Mission-Aransas Reserve
John Oliver especially did not like this doll covered in “green war paint.”Mission-Aransas Reserve
Oliver pondered whether it would be best to find a volcano in which to throw them. Mission-Aransas ReserveAccording to a clip played by Oliver, Texans can buy the doll heads at an annual fundraiser for the Mission-Aransas Reserve, which helps rehabilitate sea turtles.
But there was one that stood out. One doll head — with its mouth wide open — sold for $35 at the auction. Quickly deemed it a sex doll, Oliver demanded, “That sex doll head and whoever bought it needs to be thrown directly into the middle of the ocean!”
Oliver hypothesized several ways to get rid of the dolls — “break some kind of a curse … or a special volcano we can throw them into” — before pledging to take care of the spookiness himself.
But, really: Can you blame John Oliver for freaking out over the beach dolls?YouTube / LastWeekTonight
At the end of his rant, John Oliver offered a solution that could prevent the dolls from haunting Texas beachgoers again. Mission-Aransas Reserve
He said he’d give the Mission-Aransas Reserve $10,000 to help sea turtles. Mission-Aransas Reserve “This is my firm offer to you,” he proposed to the turtle reserve. “We will reluctantly buy all of the remaining dolls that you have — normal or sex — with a $10,000 donation to the turtle and marine wildlife rehabilitation program.
“That’s right, we will do it, and then crucially — I promise — we will figure out the best way to destroy every last one of these pieces of s–t for you, for all of you,” Oliver promised beachgoers.
A Mission-Aransas Reserve spokesperson told The Post that they sent the picture below to Oliver’s team, letting him know that he’s ready to ship them to the show.
The Post also reached out to reps for Oliver for comment.
A spokesperson from the Mission-Aransas Reserve told The Post that they sent this photo of the remaining dolls to John Oliver’s team after his on-air proposal. Mission-Aransas National Estuarine Research Reserve
