35+ Ex-Goths Explain What Got Them Into Gothdom and Why They Ultimately Dropped It

When it comes to goth individuals, people have a variety of opinions. Many people who love the goth lifestyle end up never leaving and why would they if they love it? For others, going goth is only a chapter in their life. These ex-goths share what made them change their mind or step away from the scene.

This person said that they first gained a goth label when they were pretty young. They just happened to start dressing darker and had an interest in literature.

As they got older, they started to try out new and different styles. As their interests grew, they found themselves expanding beyond a singular label. They even said that they don’t see it as “going back” at all. Instead, it was just a gradual change as they got older and tried new things.

Rather than describing themselves as an ex-goth, this person has a pretty relatable perspective. They’re still goth, they just happen to have less free time than they once did.

Since they have a pretty hectic work schedule, they don’t have a lot of time outside of their uniform. Plus, it just takes too long to add all their accessories to their look and get out of the door on time. By the time they go out, it’s hard to find everything!

Sometimes, there isn’t a moment where someone decides that they identify with other goths. As such, they don’t quite have a distinct moment where they left and became an ex-goth.

This person had a pretty relatable response to how they got into and left their goth journey. Rather than it happening all at once, they gradually fell into a look and interests that aligned with being goth. Later, they transitioned into a new style just as gradually.

Goth is more than just a look. Many people are interested in and join the subculture for an interest in not only the fashion but in music or literature as well.

When this person was younger, they found themselves adopting the style for a few different reasons. Later, they switched back to fit in better. However, they assure that they aren’t a complete ex-goth because they retain a deep interest in the art.

There are times that a specific interest can draw you into a whole new style. At first, this person only wanted a trench coat and found themselves drawn deeper into the subculture.

As for how they became ex-goth later on, the story is pretty similar. Their style gradually changed save for a few key items. For instance, the boots stayed and the trench coat is warm but other items like huge JNCO jeans were just too uncomfortable to stick around.

As we’ve said, there is a lot of art in this subculture. So, it makes sense that this person became goth after they started to get interested in Romanticism.

They never quite transitioned out of the style completely but it evolved. Rather than just sticking to goth-specific interests, they moved on to a more punk and rock-a-billy-inspired look that they now love. It’s all a matter of following your own personal preferences!

While some people find a style and stick with it, other people might love to try new things. That’s the perspective that this person delivers their story from.

So, they tried out goth fashion and liked it but, eventually, moved along. Even now, they said they were fading out of one style to switch to something they recently fell into. In the end, they just want the chance to switch things up and try new things.

As we’ve seen, there are a lot of different reasons someone might identify as goth. For this person, it was a love for metal and they just thought the concept was worthwhile.

Of course, as this happened when they were younger, so they didn’t have the same tastes as they got older. When they started to form different opinions as they got into high school, they realized they didn’t like how the fashion looked so much and shifted away.

As many do, this person fell into the goth subculture because they were drawn by the style. They also found later on that they liked the music in the scene as well.

As they grew older, like some of the other ex-goths we’ve seen, they started to garner new interests. This led them to try new things and step outside of their previously all-encompassing style. Still, they say that they retained those interests and like to break out their goth wardrobe from time to time.

When this person first tried out a more goth style, they wanted to fit in with who they saw as the “cool kids.” Yet, they said it came with both pros and cons.

What prompted them to consider themselves an ex-goth was actually money. After all, it’s not cheap to make sure you keep up with the fashion and keep your hair the way you want it. On top of that, they just started to gradually change as they started college.

As for ex-goths like this one, they fell into the subculture thanks to exposure. After all, it’s associated with a distinct fashion and it’s pretty prevalent.

For this person, it was the first alternative subculture they were introduced to. As such, it interested them and drew them in. As they got older and met new people, they branched out. They wouldn’t describe themselves quite as an “ex-goth” but rather that they’ve just moved on to other subcultures that spoke to them more.

In the early 90s, this person fell into the goth subculture when they fell in love with the aesthetics and the music. They also saw it as a great way to express themselves.

As they got older, they decided that they didn’t want to stick to a single subgenre. That’s an understandable point of view as well, given that most people have multiple facets to their personality. As such, they still find that some elements resonate with them.

There doesn’t always have to be a deep reason that goth themes resonate with someone. This person just thought it was fun and that the music was right up their alley.

As they got older, they said that they started to meet new people and try new things. They said that when they got older, they changed but never fully left the subculture altogether. After all, they fell into the subculture through genuine shared interests.

Sometimes, becoming ex-goths isn’t the way that someone’s style evolves. Like this person, they may just evolve out of the style and into something similar.

Moving On

They originally were drawn into the crowd with the distinctiveness of goth fashion. As they got older, they didn’t have quite as much time to dedicate to their look every day. With an increased interest in literature, it makes sense that they’d love Romanticism so much, making for the perfect career choice!

This person fell in with a more goth vibe in their early teens. Not only did it line up with their love of poetry but the music they enjoyed as well.

As their self-esteem improved and they found new friends, things started to change. On top of just a gradual change in tastes, there was a professional reason as well. Unfortunately, many employers have a dress code for their employees that some goth looks don’t quite fit.

This Reddit user claimed that while they fall into the category of ex-goths, they didn’t quite consider it at the time. To them, it was a style that helped them stand out.

However, like many people, as they go through their teenage years, they branched out to try new things. It was all a part of learning what they did prefer. They didn’t say they left the scene so much as they just expanded to include more styles and opportunities.

Earlier in this Reddit user’s life, they found themselves relating to what most people would consider “darker.” In addition, they were accepted by others who were already in the crowd.

Once they got older, they were taken with new interests, and for them, it was a phase in their life. As they said, times changed and they evolved out of it. It helped that they weren’t a fan of the increase of electronic music within the scene.

When you join a certain style when you’re fairly young, it could be a move in reaction to not fitting in. Once this person didn’t fit in, they turned to the subculture for self-expression.

On the other hand, being young can also mean that your parents have a lot of influence. So much influence that they might make you change your tune about your style. Under the agreement that they got a car out of it, they agreed to try some more color.

Even if you love the heavily made-up goth styles, you have to consider the time it takes to get ready. This Reddit user used to revel in their appearance when they were dressed to the nines.

The only problem was that dressing like this every day took a lot of time. As they got older and garnered more responsibilities like taking care of their kids and having a job, they didn’t have the same time or energy to dedicate to it.

This is another example that doesn’t quite fall into the category of ex-goths. Rather, this person just had to change how they did things to fit their changing life.

In particular, they note that they aren’t quite sure how they had the energy to keep up with it when they were younger. That said, they also promise readers that they haven’t given up on it either. All in all, it’s a pretty great idea to strike a balance that works for you!

For adults who identify as goth, there’s another element that often plays into the subculture: the club scene. This can play as much of a role as the aspects like attire or music.

As for this person’s story, they fell out of the club scene. Over time, their fashion style changed as well. In the end, they simply lost interest and moved on to the next thing but don’t really consider themselves goth any longer.

When you use terms like “ex-goths” it can seem pretty final. Yet, it isn’t always the case that someone leaves the subculture and stays away forever.

Some people, like this Reddit user, step away for a time and come back. They first left because they wanted to try out a new style, including their natural blond locks. After a while, they realized that they preferred their old look and went back.

As far as a label like “goth,” sometimes people give the title out on appearances alone. On the contrary, there’s far more to being goth than just a look.

Rather than just looking at self-identifying ex-goths, it’s worth considering people like this person who just fell under the label. In reality, they never really identified as goth. They were just a little cold and found that black clothes fit their needs. People were shocked when they stepped out in something different!

As we’ve said, not everyone on this list of ex-goths completely left the subculture. Sometimes, people just change certain aspects to fit their needs throughout their life.

For this person, that meant the moment that they got a job that had a stricter dress code. Unable to dress as much how they want, they started to fade out of the style. We can imagine that it would make their morning routine easier, though.

For some people, being a teenager can mean having more freedom as an adult. This obviously isn’t true for everyone but it often comes with the benefit of not having as many responsibilities.

As this person got older, they found themselves having to hang their fishnets up and change their look. While they still retain their interests in the subculture, they can’t be as open about it as they were in school.

Certain careers allow you to dress however you’d like or at least with a little more freedom. On the opposing side, some businesses have strict rules their employees have to follow.

Controlling First Impressions

For this person, their job fell into the latter category. At the very least, they found that dressing in a style closer to the norm helped them make more connections in business. In the end, they valued their career over the subculture they loved.

One of the fun things about the goth subculture is gathering with friends, dressing to the nines, and enjoying a night out. Alone, some find the lifestyle isn’t quite as rewarding.

This person was happy to enjoy the scene with their friends until they realized the people around them weren’t all they promised. As such, they stopped going out with the same group. Going at the goth lifestyle alone just wasn’t the same to them.

This person found their way into the goth subculture thanks to their love for the music. Specifically, they loved well-established goth bands like The Cure and Bauhaus.

Rather than joining the ranks of ex-goths, this person more became disillusioned by the change in their goth scene. They said the music changed as well as the principles behind it. While they dress up and go out from time to time, it ruined it for them.

There are times that other priorities take center stage over your interests. After all, there are certain things that just don’t work out at the end of the day.

For this person, despite their love for the subculture, they had to focus on other things. They had to trade out some of their goth gear for a more affordable option. That doesn’t mean they can’t enjoy the music, even if they fell out of the scene, though!

We’ve seen more than a few ex-goths now that had to stray away from their dream looks for a job. This person said the makeup didn’t quite line up with their management job.

Luckily, they managed to keep a few of their favorite accessories like their boots and black attire. They do admit that it’s something they miss, especially the makeup and looks they used to dedicate time and energy to for concerts.

Once this person found goth music and fashion, they were interested. In the age of the internet, it was easy to find others with common interests as well.

Once they got older, they settled into a different lifestyle. Now with a spouse and child, they share that they aren’t as worried about, as they put it, “provoking” anyone anymore. The music and the love for all-black clothing even stuck around!

There are some people you see and just think they look cool. That’s what happened for this person before they later fell into the goth subculture themselves.

Once they became an adult, something changed. In particular, as an adult, you don’t have to worry as much about fitting in with a clique. As they got older and had a wider range of friends, they simply grew out of their interest in it.

There isn’t always a complex story behind why someone became goth. Similarly, there are stories from ex-goths that are just as straightforward.

For this person, their story was simple. They started dressing goth because they liked the fashion and were interested in the look. After a while, they left for much of the same reason. As they learned new things about themselves, they realized that color actually suited their tastes well.

As it concerns goth fashion, black clothing usually takes center stage. Even though there are some variations, an all-black wardrobe is what most people think of.

Beyond Limited Options

This person loved that – for a while. Once they’d done that for a while, they found that it was rather limiting. So, they expanded their wardrobe to add in a few new colors and found out they loved it. Now, while they still veer towards a darker style, they don’t consider themselves goth anymore.

Finally, this person fell in love with goth styles because they truly loved the fashion. After all, done right and it can look pretty great.

The bad news is that doing the style justice often means making a few investments. For instance, tailor-made clothes, this particular person’s interest, can add up fast. As such, it can get pretty expensive to do this style justice. So, they switched a style that was more feasible to keep up with.