Aaron Rodgers is officially a Jersey boy.
All last week, the new Jets quarterback was probed on his knowledge of the Garden State.
And I have devoured every detail like a delicious upside down square from Brooklyn Square Pizza (often named the state’s best pizza).
“The only Jersey I kind of knew about besides Teterboro was ‘Jersey Shore,'” he told the media at a recent Jets press conference. He added that he once caught a DJ Pauly D set in Vegas and was a fan of the show. “I was assured it was not a proper representation of this great state.”
The California native and longtime Wisconsin resident is correct. Like the rest of the non-NJ-speaking world, he’s only seen it through the hazy lens of a bunch of drunk bennys (seasonal interlopers who descend on the beaches) roaming the Seaside Heights boardwalk.
“I love the Boss [Bruce Springsteen]. I love Bon Jovi. I never really got into ‘Sopranos,’ which is crazy because I’ve watched all the other mob movies,” he also told Adam Schein on Mad Dog Sports Radio.
New Jets quarterback Aaron Rodgers addresses the media. Corey Sipkin for the NY POST
Real Housewife of NJ, Teresa Giudice famously flipped a table during the first season.BravoAs a native of the shore area, I’d like to assure you, Mr. Rodgers, that the third state in the union is far more than guidos, Bon Jovi, butchering the English language and the sad dump Piper Perabo is trying to escape in “Coyote Ugly.”
Within its 21 counties lies rich colonial history, mountains, horse country and a long-standing war between the north and south over the rightful nomenclature of a pork product.
As your team owner could tell you, it’s where the Band-Aid was invented, which was convenient: see Action Park. It’s also where Thornton Melon perfected the Triple Lindy and Teresa Giudice flipped a table, coining the state motto, “prostitution whore.”
A postage stamp honoring New Jersey. Getty Images/iStockphoto
James Gandolfini played NJ mob boss Tony Soprano in HBO’s “The Sopranos.”APIt’s what I like to call a high-low state. You won’t ever have to pump your own gas within its borders, but you’ll have to endure the farty fumes of the NJ Turnpike (Note: It will make you stronger).
You’ll also be required to show Tony some damn respect and get up to snuff on “The Sopranos.”
Rumor has it, you’re joining Trump Bedminster, which is in the monied, equine enclave of the state.
The Spring Lake boardwalk and beach is one of the best on the shore.TINA TRASTERHopefully, you’ll come to the real Jersey Shore, which is far more beautiful and diverse than the show depicts. There’s nothing New Age-y about it, but you’ll still love its pure bliss and raw energy.
There is Haskell Day at Monmouth Park, happy hour at the Parker House in Sea Girt, Sundays at Donovan’s Reef in Sea Bright and beach days in Spring Lake. If you want to meet your new constituents, simply greet the milelong lines of 20-somethings waiting outside of Leggetts and the Osprey in Manasquan on a Saturday night.
You can fill your vegan needs with produce galore at Delicious Orchards in Colts Neck. If you want to reunite with your old pal, Rhode Island native Pauly D, he’ll be at the Headliner in Neptune City on July 30.
The Parker House in Sea Girt is a popular Jersey shore hangout.
Rodgers shows off his new Jets jersey. APAnd as my buddy Captain Cons over at Barstool noted, if Bruce isn’t on tour, you might catch him at the Manasquan Inlet, where’s he’s wont to wander.
I’m sure every local rich dude has offered to take you fishing on their boat and golfing at their country club. If you also want to be a man of the people, my friend Jim Brustman, lifelong Jets fan and Belmar ambassador, would like to invite you to his home on July 15, when his annual “Tour de Dirt” bike bar crawl is kicking off.
The options are endless. There’s a lot of personality and pop culture to catch up on, but you’ve got the wit and the ball-busting chops to thrive here.
And until the season starts and the fickle Jets fans find a reason to boo you, Jersey is your oyster.
